A few weeks ago my husband and I were getting ready for our day and we assumed our children were watching cartoons in a nearby room (as they typically did on Saturday mornings). It's important to note that my kids are 7 and 4 1/2 (twins). Old enough to play in the house and on their "own" without constant parental supervision. This particular morning was no different than any other until my 4 1/2 year old son and his twin sister came running and giggling into our bedroom. After much prodding and probing, my son Jack declared that they had thrown the neighbor's volleyball (which was in our pool) back over the fence. They were clearly very proud of themselves. I'm not exactly certain how to explain the reaction my husband and I had but it was utter disbelief.
Simply put, we did not believe them.
After all, we are responsible parents. We paid extra for the self latching, steel, inpenetrable, kid-tested, firefigher-approved (you get the idea) pool fence. It's locked at all times and our kids cannot open it. So surely they were making the whole thing up, right?
As I sat there and decided what to do next, I remembered seeing the neighbor's volleyball in our pool the night before (it was a fairly common occurence and we were accustomed to retrieving their ball and throwing it back over the fence). This is something our children have seen us do many, many, times. [Insert hindsight ah ha moment]
So down the stairs we go, outside the sliding glass door, across the patio, to the still locked pool fence. Sure enough, the volleyball was GONE! I turned to my kids and very sternly (which means I'm pretty sure I woke up residents in the next town), asked, "WHAT HAPPENED TO THE VOLLEYBALL!?!" My son declares, "Sammy got it out of the pool!" I said, "HOW?!?" and that's when it happened...my son and his sister proudly showed me how they used their monkey climbing skills to "shimmy" up the rails of the pool fence, flip a leg over the top, and "shimmy" back down.
Now mind you, there was NO chair propped up against the pool fence, NO table they climbed on top of to help them over, there was NOTHING they used, other than sheer 4 year old, I can do anything, watch me, strength, to get them over the top. I didn't know whether to scream or cry...so I did both!
Afterwards I was left wondering...what could I have done differently? We have a self-latching pool gate. We have a sliding glass door that is another barrier between the house and the pool. We have a doggie door that does NOT lead to the pool area. Other than keeping a constant eye on my three kids AT ALL TIMES, what else could I have done differently?
I'm still not sure there is an answer that will satisfy everyone reading this. Some of you may judge (and believe me some of you have). Some of you will understand (and sympathize) with those of us who have strong-willed and fearless children (I have 2!). Whatever your opinion, we've all been there, at some moment that in hindsight creates that terrible mommy, I should never leave my kids alone, turn my head for a second, EVER...guilt. This was my moment.
We took some additional safety precautions after this incident and instilled a new house rule - no playing in the backyard, on the swingset or on the patio without a parent - EVER. As a parent, taking a shower, getting dressed and using the bathroom will just have to wait...for when they're 10.
Shana Battles is the publisher of North Phoenix Macaroni Kid. Her scary experience was the motivation for The North Phoenix water safety edition (you can read it here) as well as for our current water safety series. Read Part 1 of the East Tucson Macaroni Kid water safety safety issues here.
